Finding Our Satisfaction

Satisfaction

"Arrggghhhh!" would have been an appropriate reaction. A very proud of himself non-techie rabbi had installed a new wireless router without Debbie's help. The only problem was that my email and website settings refused to cooperate with my newfound technical skills. Too embarrassed to ask my wife for help, I called the hosting company, and spent more than two hours explaining the issue, experimenting with technical support until I was told, "The problem is not with us, but with your internet provider." By this time, my perfectly installed router stopped working altogether. I called my internet provider, waited for more than 45 minutes for technical support, when people came to learn. I had to hang up, knowing I would have to start again. I finally, two hours later, reached a live agent, spent over an hour adjusting one thing or another, only to be told, "The problem is not with us. It's either with your hosting company or your router." I had another appointment, so it was more than an hour later that I called Apple. As I followed the advisor's instructions for over 90 minutes, I lost the connection on my iPhone. I immediately called back, waged a great battle with the computer voice answering my call, realized that I had another appointment, hung up. I'm convinced I heard the computer voice whisper, "Chicken!" The computer believed I had surrendered. I called back about two hours later, got connected to a new agent with whom I spent another 90 minutes, and again lost the connection. I had another appointment so I called back just more than an hour later. When the computer voice heard my name, it chuckled, challenging me to enter the ring with him for another round. I persevered and when the defeated computer handed me over to a human being, I described my saga and was immediately connected to a supervisor who assured me, after an hour of adjusting my settings and experimenting with unplugging this and plugging that, that the problem was with my hosting company. Another appointment called, so it was an hour later that I could again call the hosting company. Meanwhile, Debbie, who desperately needed her internet for work, brought her computer downstairs and said, "Fix it!" As I waited for the technical support agent to study my file, I mistakenly tapped a key on Debbie's computer, and everything began to work. Did that experience not merit an "Arrggghhhh!"

I couldn't access my emails. I had no time to write. I couldn't post any essays. My new status as a techie was under attack. Lost calls, aggressive computer voices, on hold for almost an hour at a time, challenged my patience. Yet, when I look back on yesterday, I realize that it was a good day because there was no "Arrggghhhh!" I wasn't perfect. I was quite frustrated, but I didn't 'lose it.' It wasn't the best day, but I was satisfied with the way I managed my frustration, and I learned how to properly say the Grace after Meals.

"You will eat and you will be satisfied, and bless God, your Lord (Deuteronomy 8:10)." The Talmud reports that God said to the angels, "I commanded Israel to recite the Grace after Meals only if they are satisfied, but they have chosen to bless Me even if they eat a piece of bread as small as the volume of an olive (Berachot 20b)." Why did the Sages insist that we bless God even for the small slice of bread? They understood how rare it is to experience satisfaction, especially passive satisfaction as in, "and you will be satisfied." They heard God teaching us that we have to actively find satisfaction and not passively wait for the moment we can experience it. I treasure the rare times when someone responds to the question, "Are you satisfied with your life?" not with an emphatic "No!" but, "I find the areas in my life with which to be satisfied."

Moses warns the person who passively waits for satisfaction, "Take care lest you forget God (Verse 11)!" The passive waiting for perfect satisfaction will lead to forgetting God and all the blessings we have. The active searcher for satisfaction joins Moses in asking, "Now, Israel, what does God, your Lord, ask of you (10:12)." Rather than hear the standard response of, "Obey His commandments," they hear, "To be in awe of Him, to copy His ways, and to love Him," an active, transformative relationship.

Wishing you a Shabbat of active discovery of all the satisfactions in your life.

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