Making Use Of Marriage Counseling To Your Advantage
Copyright (c) 2012 Paul Ruffilio
We usually identify just married couples from the attention they pay themselves. You would always notice lot's of hugging, touching, holding, smiling and incessant show of affection. The common thing is that this attitude declines as the years progress. The more mature couples who are still in love, simply relate more like friends. They would likely not be seen relating like they were when they started.
It is generally really surprising when you find a couple that only a few years back were all loving and touchy, now barely stomaching the sight of each other. What changed in this relationship? Or is it the individuals that changed?
It's very common to hear couples who come for marriage counseling saying how that their spouse is no longer the same as when they got married. Do we really change like that?
For me, I don't agree that people change. The issue I think is a failure to actually get to know the real person. Maybe you were carried away by who you desired the person to be. When you get married, you're forced to face reality and not what you think. When reality hits you, you could begin to think you may have made a mistake. There may or may not have been a mistake on your part.
Searching for the perfect person is a classic mistake that people make. No one person can possess all the qualities you want in a spouse. You are setting yourself up for problems when you expect perfection. It takes knowing that you are imperfect for you not to expect perfection from another.
What's your response to indications of imperfection in your spouse? This is one very critical matter. There are those who unfortunately think they just have to have that non-existent perfection. An individual can easily get into extra marital affairs due to this. You would eventually discover that the new person does not have something your partner has.
The first thing you require to build a great marriage is to understand first that you are not perfect. Being imperfect yourself, you would be better prepared to understand the imperfections in your spouse. It's your decision to be happy with your spouse regardless of the imperfections that would see you through. Your extra marital affair isn't the answer. If anything, it would make your own imperfection very clear.
You can actually decide to make up for your partner's imperfection. This is a decision that would help your marriage succeed. You should go for marriage counseling when you think it's getting too difficult.
As you grow older in your marriage, you would discover that as a result of your persistence, you learned how to cope with all the things about your partner that used to drive you crazy. This is why you would find divorced couples who later in their life cannot believe why on earth they got divorced.
Making your marriage work demands that you determine to work at it.
About the Author
Avail yourself of marriage counseling today (check out http://www.marriagesherpa.com/ ) and handle any issue you may be faced with in your marriage including extra marital affairs. Visit http://www.marriagesherpa.com/surviving-infidelity-how-to-survive-an-affair
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