How To Make Sense Of Your Emotions In The Face Of Major Change Like The Recession

When change happens we can feel a whole range of emotions. The bigger the change, the stronger the emotions.

What is particularly disorientating is that these emotions can fluctuate, sometimes wildly, and it is hard to know what they mean and how to handle them.

As I write, many countries are experiencing the worst economic crisis in living memory. This triggers many different emotions. Here in the UK, I have felt sadness, hopefulness, anger, confusion, excitement, resignation, optimism and anxiety. Many friends and colleagues have a similar experience, maybe you too?

We can begin to make sense of all this emotion using a model first developed by Dr Elizabeth Kubler Ross. She found that when a person experiences significant change there are five stages they go through in order to come to terms with it.

Let's look at the five stages using, as an example, my emotions about the recession (though remember it applies to any significant change).

1.Denial - I try to convince myself that the recession is a media invention, a make-believe to attract attention to earn extra revenue. Or I deny that the recession will affect me as an individual even though it may impact others.

2.Anger - I look to lay blame: the banks, the government, the 'system', spend-thrifts, human greed. I even blame myself for not seeing it coming and taking some avoiding action. It's just not fair that those who played by the 'rules' are penalized while those with unethical behavior have benefitted.

3.Bargaining - I look to do a deal. I will give up aspirations to change my 8 year old car if I am granted enough new clients to work with. I promise to work even harder if new opportunities are revealed to me to replace those that are lost.

4.Depression - what's the point in struggling against the odds? A single individual has no influence. The problem is too big. Admit defeat, there's no hope etc

5.Acceptance - I am where I am. Although I wouldn't have chosen it to be this way, the world is as it is. I am alive and I'm part of this world. There is no need or use in playing the victim. As an autonomous human being, I can make my own decisions about what I'm going to do.

There are a couple of general points to notice.

First, although the progression is from step 1 to step 5, you may find sometimes that you move back and forwards a bit between stages. For example, I have dipped back into the anger stage more than once.

Second, the natural end-point is acceptance. The question is how long it takes you to get there. The sooner you do, then the sooner you will be empowered and proactive in creating your own way forward.

Recognising where you are within the five steps is the start of moving forwards and coming to a healthy and creative relationship with the change around you.

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