When the Going Gets Tough . . .

Copyright 2006 Stacey Mayo

If you truly want to make your dream come true then you may think that quitting is not an option. Actually you always have a choice to keep going or to stop. It is good to know you have that choice. Sometimes it may make sense to stop if the dream no longer fits for you or was not what you thought it would be. Just be sure that you are listening to your inner knowing and not the scared voice in your head (your gremlin) who thinks you may fail and/or is looking for reasons to stop.

Many years ago, a good friend said something to me that really surprised me. She said, "You get stopped so easily." I was surprised because it was not something I was even conscious of at the time. But something in it resonated as true, and I resolved to change that pattern.

Now, 12 years later, I have gone past many of the places where I would have stopped before. And I have the results to show it - a wonderful marriage, an extremely successful business doing what I love, and a published book that has won 2 awards. The truth is, when the going gets rough, I still contemplate stopping. I contemplated stopping at some point during each of the successes I named above. But the amount of time I stopped got shorter and shorter and then I looked at how to get past the obstacle(s) and move forward again.

When do you typically get stopped or where are you stopped now? How can you move past it? • If it is too hard, look for how you are making it hard and how you can make it easier. • If you don't know how, find resources to show you how (people, books, workshops, coaches, etc.). • If you think you are too old, you probably are not. What is the best way to spend your remaining time on this planet? • If you are too tense or attached to the result happening soon, ask yourself "what would help me relax?" • Too sick? How can you either get well or tweak your dream so you can do it with your ailments? I recently heard from a person who was transitioning to a career in law at age 60 and was questioning if she was too old. After seeing an inspirational movie, she realized she is not. You go girl! I heard from someone with post polio syndrome who has climbed mountains and seen all the places in the world she wanted to go -- on a crutch. Anything is possible.

Get support for your dreams and go for it until you get there! All we have is time. You might as well spend it going for what you want.

Flow Chart of a Dream

I thought about the typical places people usually get stopped in going for their dreams and came up with this flow chart. At every point (plus many more points too numerous to list) you can decide to go forward or to stop. Which of these points sound familiar to you? Where do you contemplate stopping?

1. You have no idea what you want to do > You can either: (a) Make the decision to uncover your dream or go with one you have been resisting (b) Continue living a complacent existence

2. You know what you want to do/be/have > You can either: (a) Commit to making it happen (b) Daydream about it wistfully, not believing it is possible

3. You have so many ideas and dreams, that it is hard to choose just one > You can either: (a) Focus on one big idea at a time until you make it happen and then add another (b) Try to do them all at once and make minimal progress on any of them

4. You have committed to make your dream happen but don't know how > You can either: (a) Find out how from people who have done similar things (b) Stop because you don't know how, aren't good enough, etc.

5. You have learned how some others did it but are not sure you can do it > You can either: (a) Go for it one step at and time, increasing your confidence as you go and get the support of others (perhaps a coach) (b) Stop because you are afraid of failing, ending up destitute or a myriad of other reasons

6. You start moving forward and it doesn't happen as easily as you had imagined or hoped and/or you make mistakes > You can either: (a) Learn what you need to do differently and try again (b) Stop because it's too hard

7. You make a couple of successful steps forward > You can either: (a) Celebrate your successes and keep moving forward (b) Stop because the idea of success is just too scary

8. Something unexpected occurs that takes you away from focusing on your dream > You can either: (a) Take care of whatever you need to do and then get back on course (b) Stop because you got distracted

9. You keep going forward until you achieve your dream > You can either: (a) Bask in the wonderful feeling of having achieved it and celebrate (b) Be critical of how long it took you and play down your success

At each step along the way, which will you choose A or B? The choice is up to you.

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